No Way!
by AgiVega
Summary: Monk Gyatso tells Aang about the birds and the bees. Aang gets a little shocked.


**Disclaimer:** Avatar is owned by Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Konietzko. AgiVega is only using their innocent characters and takes delight in embarrassing them.

Thanks to my good friend Michael for the beta.

**No Way!**

A whole month passed since Aang had learned about his destiny and the monks of the Southern Air Temple had still not disclosed his identity to the world. Only his closest fellows knew and they were made to promise to keep silent.

The month that had gone by since the fateful day of revelation had been filled with anguish, confusion and barely suppressed rage for the boy and plain sadness for Monk Gyatso.

The old man knew his fellow monks were planning to take from him his favourite pupil – the son he had never had – and it was killing him inside. Aang's suffering did the same to him – Gyatso died a bit every day just by seeing the once cheerful and carefree youth lose his smile, his hope, his entire childhood. He wanted to give it all back to him – the laughter and the childish glee Aang deserved to keep but had lost too early.

In the circumstances one had to admit Aang was holding up fairly well: he tried to maintain as much of his famous optimism and smile as often as possible, but the old man knew the boy well enough to see beyond the mask. Aang was conflicted. He was searching for his place in the world and not finding the right path. He was balancing on the borderline between childhood and adulthood, his heart pulling him back to games and tricks and goofiness, his mind, however, pushing him forward to the strict and serious life the Avatar was supposed to live. A life of service, sacrifice and self-denial. A life Aang was not yet ready for.

The annual arrival of exchange students from the Western Air Temple didn't help a bit to ease the young Avatar's mind. A gaggle of twelve-year-old girls had come to visit under the supervision of a pair of nuns – giggly girls, none of whom knew who the Avatar was but all of whom took an interest in a boy or two. Aang, like many others, was soon on the receiving end of unwanted attention. His pursuer went by the name of Sakura.

Aang ignored her first. When she made clear she wouldn't be ignored, he tried to hide. To no avail. Desperation eventually drove him to escape on Appa's back for several days only to return with a rumbling stomach and a hollow face. And she still found him irresistible.

"I've had enough, Gyatso," he joined his old master one evening on the balcony overlooking the courtyard. "I can't hide from her, and even if I starve myself to look ugly and haggard, she still keeps stalking me! Why? She doesn't even know I'm the Avatar! Does she?"

"No, I don't suppose she does," the old monk shrugged.

"Then what's wrong with her?" Aang snapped. Gyatso imagined if the boy had hair, he'd be tearing it now.

"I think there's nothing wrong with her. She just likes you. A little too much."

"But… but why? I'm shorter than most! Thinner than most! What could she possibly like about me?"

"Ah, that is one of the greatest mysteries of life," the old man said, his eyes distant and dreamy. "Attraction. Love. Eventually breeding."

"Breeding?" Aang blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Aang, what do you know of girls?" Gyatso's glance shifted back to him, regarding him with a serious yet gentle expression.

"Of girls? Well... Avatar Yangchen was a girl. An airbender girl. I suppose she must've been nice. A peaceful person and still a great warrior. Girls can fight very well too, I think. But they also can be very annoying. And they tend to have funny flower names. Like that... _Sakura_," Aang made a grimace. "I honestly don't understand what she wants from me."

"Well, young one, you must know that girls mature quicker than boys."

"I don't think so. Those girls are so stupidly giggly! So childish! Especially _her_!"

"That's not what I meant," the old monk shook his head with an indulgent smile. "I meant that girls become capable of breeding a couple of years earlier than boys do."

"That word again," Aang rolled his eyes. "What's suddenly so important about it that you keep bringing it up? You've never even mentioned it before."

"You have no idea what it means, do you?"

"Well, I sort of do. When sky bison breed, they have small ones."

"Yes, Aang, but do you know how exactly they do it?"

"Should I?"

"Yes, you should. Especially now that you know you're the Avatar."

"Why, what has being the Avatar to do with sky bison breeding?"

"Well, not with sky bison breeding directly, just breeding in general. You see, Aang, as boys and girls grow up they start noticing each other, just like Sakura has noticed you. She's twelve like you, but a girl, therefore a little more mature physically than you are–"

"She's shorter than me!"

"Yes, but you might have noticed her..." Gyatso gently patted his chest.

"What? Her boobs?"

"Yes, you may call them that..." the old man laughed, "but I'd just call them breasts. So, she's got breasts which means she's physically closer to maturity than you or other boys of your age are. She might be able to have children already or very soon. And this is what I wanted to talk to you about before you interrupted."

"Oh," Aang coloured a bit. "I'm sorry."

Gyatso found it endearing that Aang would blush at the mere thought of having been disrespectful to his elder and not at the thought of breeding like most teens would. But just give him a couple more minutes. All is not lost that is delayed.

"So," Gyatso cleared his throat, "you are the Avatar, and once that becomes public knowledge, you, my boy, will become a target of many things. You will have enemies. Avatars sadly always do. You will have people jealous of your fame and talents. You will also have admirers, both men and women. I'd say, more women than men."

"Really?" Aang's stature seemed to have shrunk and it had been small to begin with.

"Yes, Aang, really. Sakura's attention might prove to be nothing compared to that of girls who will admire you in the future."

The boy gulped and asked in a timid voice, "But... what shall I do with all those girls?"

"You have many choices. You might take your chastity vow if you so decide, and then you will not have to concern yourself with women at all. You might as well marry and have children. Or... you might just breed without getting married. But I wouldn't recommend the last option. Not very proper for a young man, especially one raised by monks."

"Breeding again," Aang sighed and crossed his arms. "You _really_ want to tell me how it's done, don't you, Gyatso?"

"It's not like I want to, Aang, it's more like I have to. Soon your identity will be revealed to the world, and your entry into adolescence isn't far away either. These two things combined make a dangerous mixture. You need to be prepared. You need to know what you'll be facing so you can decide what you want to do. Or what you don't."

"Fine," Aang dejectedly flopped down on the balcony ledge. "I'm all ears, Gyatso."

The old airbending master took a deep breath. "Here we go..."

o

Gyatso began talking, choosing his words with the utmost care so as to cause as little shock as possible, but despite his best efforts Aang's discomfort visibly grew with every passing minute. By the time Gyatso finished his lecture, the boy's complexion had turned redder than the setting sun.

"Well, I believe that sums it up," the old man concluded, producing a smile as fatherly as he could, but apparently the boy's current state of mind wouldn't let him register the smile – he was simply too disturbed for that.

Finally, after a long and heavy pause Aang muttered, "That's awful."

"Not as much as you'd imagine," Gyatso chuckled.

The child stared at him in disbelief. "You sound like someone who knows from experience what it's like."

"I never said I didn't."

"You've done it yourself?"

"Once," Gyatso admitted. "Before I made my vow of chastity." Seeing Aang's confusion, he added, "Chastity means you refrain from such activities, and taking the vow means you refrain from them for your whole life."

"Oh," Aang's eyes lit up. "Great! I'll take my vow right away!"

"I'm afraid you can't. Not before you turn sixteen."

"But if I took it now, that would perhaps stop Sakura from following me around! Oooooh…" Aang groaned and ran his fingers across his bald scalp, "I just realised something… Sakura wants to have babies with me! She wants to do this utterly disgusting thing with me! No! There's no way I'm doing it with her! There's no way I'm ever doing it with anyone!"

"Don't be so rash to judge, young one. You might be a little upset right now, but the feeling will pass. And who knows, some day you might meet a girl you will be more than willing to try it with."

"No, Gyatso! No way!" Aang stamped his foot. "And next time I meet Sakura, I'll tell her that too. She'd better know her place!"

"I hardly think you will need to tell her anything, my boy," the elderly monk said. "I've heard the exchange students are leaving in two days. You only need to be patient for another two days and she'll stop following you around anyway. Besides, I'm not sure you would be able to give her babies yet," Gyatso added with a knowing smile.

"Uh… no, I don't think I would," Aang blushed. "That wet thing you mentioned… hasn't happened yet."

"But it will soon. In a year or two it surely will."

"And what if I don't want it to happen? It sounds gross."

"It is the natural course of life, Aang, and there are things in nature that not even the Avatar can control. Besides, intimacy isn't exactly... gross, at least it isn't supposed to be. It can be really nice, actually." When the boy opened his mouth to protest, Gyatso held up a hand to stop him. "I'm not talking you into anything, it is not my place to do so. When the time comes, you will make your own decisions."

"My decision is made," Aang said defiantly, his head held high, "and my answer to this whole madness is _never_. Ever."

o

_106 years later_

Aang rolled off Katara with a satisfied grunt. She sighed and bent her head on his shoulder, their breaths coming in ragged gasps.

Suddenly he let out a laugh.

"What's so funny?" she mumbled into his chest.

"I just remembered a conversation I had with Monk Gyatso many, many years ago."

"Hmm?" she raised her head to look him in the eye. "What kind of conversation?"

"The most embarrassing one I ever had. He gave me the birds and the bees talk."

"Oh," Katara chuckled. "And?"

"And I told him I'd never do it because it was plain gross. He said I might change my mind later, but I didn't believe him. Then..." he grinned sheepishly, "when I woke up in your arms after you freed me from the iceberg, my second thought was that I'd love to go penguin-sledding with you."

"The second?" she arched an eyebrow at him. "And what was the first?"

"That _never_ is too strong a word."

**FIN**

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I have a couple more short ATLA fanfics coming up soon.**

**Reviews would be welcome.**


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